I walk to the beat of my own musical. But, as much as I pride myself on rejecting the status quo and being a hip-hop lovin’, Doctor Who watchin’, Afro-wearin’ kooky kid, I am human. I still have the innate sense of wanting to belong. I want to feel like I am a part of something bigger than myself…and sometimes that feeling comes at a cost. As I writer, I feel like I am always on the outside looking in. I know other bloggers and they know of me, but I always keep my guard up. I feel like if they really knew ME, then they wouldn’t accept me. Sigh. It’s like there is an elite writer’s club and I am outside the club looking in. Maybe its because I’m socially awkward and nerdy. Maybe its all in my head. Either way, the feelings are TOO REAL.
Lately, I have been listening to Colbie Callat’s “Try.” When it comes to my loneliness in the writing arena, this song reminds me that as long as I like me, its all good. Cliche, I know, but it became a cliche because it needed to be repeated! My favorite lyrics are:
“Wait a second,
Why, should you care, what they think of you
When you’re all alone, by yourself, do you like you?
Do you like you?”
As long as I continue to transform constructive criticism into growth and maintain my integrity as a writer and a woman, it’s okay if I am outside the club. I’ll continue to dance in the rain and enjoy the autonomy of being in my own world.
Have a good week! I have a special article coming up and as soon as it is on the web, I will share it with you 🙂